Friday, August 04, 2006

The Love of a Father

Today is a very disappointing day but I am happy and very much overwhelmed of all the things happening to me. I am really touched with my dad. Lately, I felt his love as a Father and as a good friend. I am not so close with my dad for I have been a "mama's boy" since I was young. I was not able to talk to him that much because I am always afraid that I'll make some stupid things in front of him. Even when eating together, I don't talk that much unless when asked. I have received enough bad things (demerits) from him since I was young that make me move away from him and try keeping distance. There is a great gap between the two of us which I believe will take a long time to be reconciled. He don't talk that much. He doesn’t like my "kengkoy" attitude for sometimes I exceed beyond my limitations. Most of the time, I just tell him what I feel through letters. Letters that are only a part of the co-curricular activities (RHGP) in school when I was in high school. It’s already three years ago since I last wrote a letter telling him some private matters. There are lot of opportunities to write again to him, birthdays, father's day, Christmas, new year, end of school days, Sunday mass, etc. Sometimes, I wonder if I am only an adopted child because I’ve never felt so much love from him since my little brother came when I was only three years old. But I was indeed wrong of what I all think. My dad loves me. So much that he is ready to give his life not only for us but for our family. He works even if he doesn't feel good. Now, I am so much thankful that he is my Father. Now, i truly understand why he spank me in my butt during my elementary days, why he have slapped me when i first came home late without telling them that I’ll be late when I was in high school, why he pick me up in school during late hours and all. It’s a late realization for my age to only realize that what he is thinking is my own safety. He has given me what I always asked for, independence. I am quite happy but I miss the times. It’s already two weeks since feel that my health status is not already normal. Being a nurse, I am too paranoid that all the possible diseases that I feel from all the signs and symptoms that I experience. One of which is coughing out with blood (hemoptysis), a long term non productive cough (treated with meds but the bacteria/virus is resistant). It took me a long time before I told them what I experiences. I had a minimal PTB (pulmonary tuberculosis) when I was young (almost 60% of all child suffered from this) and I had a one year medication taking drugs to improve my health status. I also have a heart disease where we all know is really life threatening. You’ll never know when you will die. And lately, my dad is the one who offered the invite to consult a physician. We went to Makati Medical Hospital where we found out that I have a chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. I have asthma. I have inherited it from my grandpa from my mother's side. I was also diagnosed for having community acquired pneumonia (CAP). My case is severe to think that i have asthma, viral pneumonia, and heart disease. Now, I have to undergo empirical therapy and take a lot of drugs as medication. The drugs given are all expensive that my dad spends a thousand bucks only for my one day medication. I have to undergo empirical therapy for a long period. I really hope to get better not only for my own sake but also because of all the expenses we need to comply. Rainy season have already started here in the Philippines and just last day, my umbrella that I bought a year ago can't be opened for unknown reason. I used the big umbrella of our angel (yaya) to go to school because I can't use my brother and sisters umbrella because they will also go to school. My dad goes to office early so he cannot send me to the university where I used to attend. Two days after, my dad bought me an umbrella which he did for the first time. i was touched even if you say it's a simple thing, I’m still touched. Now, I am taking care of my umbrella. I realized a thing, if you will think of the things you don't have, you have nothing. But if you will think of the things you have, you have everything. I am the luckiest son in the world because he is my dad and his son is me. I owe God a lot especially for sending me to the perfect dad in the world...

P.S.:
My Dad has now accepted my “kengkoy: attitude and we now also talk a lot. I also found out that we have same likes. They say: Like father, like son...

2 comments:

Sayote Queen said...

Read this... So touching naman... Better hug my dad too :) To thank him for everything :) Keep on blogging :)

Jinjiruks said...

ei arron.. pa link ah