Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Irony of a False Love

Isn’t it stupid that we allow a person whom we barely know and whom we just met to destroy the fruits of our past and to dictate our future by investing all our emotions in the belief that he/she can provide the happiness that we would need to last our lifetime? Isn’t it amazing how society can make us believe that we can leave the very people who have molded us into who we are just for this certain “special someone”? Isn’t it ironic how almost everyone subject themselves to emotional anxiety and pains in search of what they call ‘LOVE’, when in fact, nobody can even provide a single (and universally accepted) definition of this word, when nobody can guarantee an end when the journey begins?

It only hurts when I’m awake. In my dreams you love me more. You let me hold you for as long as I want to and you never let go or back away from me. You let me kiss you in public no matter how passionate or sensual that kiss may be. You listen to everything I have to say even if they don’t mean jack sh*t about anything. You don’t say “I don’t care!” when I rant or rave about Sting or Beatles or whatnots. You feign laughter or smile when I crack old jokes that are so frigging aged, they even have wrinkles. You retort every time I make fun of you but not in the way that it gets too personal and you make me feel like useless protoplasm – protoplasm that you’ll splice up and use as compost. When we’re in private, you let me cuddle with you in the most uncomfortable positions and not move like a worm and squirm all about just because you don’t feel right about the way you’re sitting in bed. You make me laugh by saying the most insane things I never thought you’d say and not feel embarrassed about it. You let me hold your hand when we’re walking in the mall or sidewalk and you don’t let go because you have this obsessive-compulsion to scratch your face or fix your hair. You don’t have to wait for me to say “kiss me,” every time we’re talking and I just feel like having your lips planted on mine. You make love to me not just because you have to, but because you want to. You make love to me in a way that you don’t need to watch porn to know what to do but in way that you unleash the sensuality, passion and intimacy inside you that you don’t give a rats *ss if anybody hears you scream or mess up the bed or do the stuff you once thought were inappropriate that you now do because you know it feels good. You feel good for making love with me and look forward to doing it again. You make me kilig by whispering something in my ear that you’ll never ever say to your mom because she might send you to anti-premarital s*x seminars. When I say or text the most romantic words, you don’t think you’re just saying that ‘cuz you’re good at it but think of what I just said and know that I mean what I say and I say what I mean. You let me do the stuff you know I’m good at and not say that it’s just B.S. and it wouldn’t do me any good at all. You don’t say “eeww, corny!” when I sing Maging Sino Ka Man by Rey Valera and you know that every single line of the song is written in homage to what I feel about you. You make me feel good about myself by loving me in a way that you can never ever love anybody the way that you love me. In my dreams, you love me more and you love me that way not just because I’m dreaming, but because I’m in the state of reality. Then I wake up and feel the pain. Yeah, we can never be together. Never will. And it hurts me even more. We live in two different dimensions – no doubt about that. But do we have to love each other for two different reasons too? I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out, I love you for reaching out and touching my heart, and passing over the foolish, weak things that you can’t help simply seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find. Love is entrusting our faults to one another. I love you because I love you. Why do you love me?

Now, isn’t it ironic how one person can make us so miserable to the extent of doubting our sense of self-worth and feeling impotent, when there standing behind us are countless people who believes in us and values us so much in their life? Doesn’t it astonish us how we fail in a relationship and it suddenly destroys our pride, confidence and wisdom which we have carefully collected and owned from the people and events in our past… the foundations that made up the person we really were. Isn’t it unbelievable that we rely on one person to measure our importance through the number of phone calls, text messages, and e-mails that we receive containing all the romantic words enough to make us happy, when there are people whom we call family and friends who never fail to make us feel so important? Isn’t it ironic how we punish ourselves and we choose to stay in misery, when joy is just one step ahead of us, just because of a single mistake (of love) to which we also happen to be the victim?

We keep on setting criteria's about the person who we will love but the truth about setting these criteria’s make us just fall in love with the idea of love and not finding love itself. Ironic isn’t it?


13 comments:

karlee said...

hang sad naman nito :c nangiyakngiyak na ko :c

the jester-in-exile said...

you'll survive.

puklo said...

Love changes you...
the way you think, act and decide.
sometimes you even go against your principles and beliefs in life.
loving doesn't always mean you'll be happy.
sometimes all it provides you is pain and misery yet you are blinded by strong emotions that you fail to see the reality.

Loving a person doesn't need a criteria kasi once you fall in love, you take the risk of accepting the person.
you don't need to find answers kung bakit mo sya mahal.
kasi lahat nagbabago..
but if you accept that person , magbago man sya in the middle of relationship di ka masasaktan kasi tanggap mo sya ng buo.
mahirap gawin pero sarap subukan dahil wala nang sasaya pa if you let that one person feel na mahal na mahal mo sya without asking for anything in return. then you can say, wow! yun pala ang LOVE!

whew! napaka-sad!
dumugo ilong ko!
pati ang luha! nyahha!

kaya mo yan dude!

the philosphical bastard said...

the first paragraph was true.. every word of it. so my comment is only for that which you wrote after. hehe.

when you put somebody on a pedestal, that's when you make yourself lower.

Darwin said...

You are the third consecutive person I visited who have rants about love. What's happening with you guys?!? Do you have any other problem? Hehehe

Anyway, let me say that having criteria are useless. They immediately get useless when you find someone probably worth your while. Keeping what you have 'til the end is another though.

I guess you've enjoyed yourself too much that at the end of the day you are extremely disappointed to find out that indeed, the day already ended.

liz said...

"We keep on setting criteria's about the person who we will love but the truth about setting these criteria’s make us just fall in love with the idea of love and not finding love itself. Ironic isn’t it?"


you know what really sucks? the fact that most things in life are ironic, and that trying to figure out just how turns the weak insane.

Sa Wari Ko said...

I really like the contribution you have submitted for SaWariKo.

We however have a long standing policy of not accepting post, listed somewhere such as this one.

I appreciate your contribution and would be happy to review an original one.

Thanks.

atomicgirl said...

ouch.

snst_blvd said...

love sucks period

utakGAGO said...

ironic talaga ang lab. walang wenta. kaya asa pa yung mga lovers in paris jan, magbebreak din kayo.

WAHAHAAH.

im so bad.

L.a said...

True Love, False Love, Platonic Love ETC!!!

But remember DIVINE LOVE!!!

Hindi ka nag-sasabi parate tayong mag ka-chat!!!

-L.A
http://lordartworks.com

Fire Eye'd Boy said...

when i was still in high school/college, i thought my most serious relationships were really that, serious. now that i think about it, they were really just exercises to feed my ego. i can only speak for myself of course, but as jester said, you'll live.

Anonymous said...

ha?
uso pa ba yan?...wheheH


pero totoo yun, nkakaiyak, nkkapanghina, nkkawalang pag-asa khit ndi naman natin icpin un peru in reality it really hurts.
huhuhuhu..sana mlaman mu na ndi ka nag-iisa madami tau darating din ung tamang panahon

kunwari pa iba jan...
masarap magmahaL nuh!