perhaps, this is one of my loneliest valentine ever in my mature life. ewan ko ba. i dunno. i have survived before without having "special" someone. but now, i find it hard. maybe, the fact that i have undergone to several relationships before then having no one suddenly. haha. this entry has nothing to do with "special" someone tha is only yours. haha. i just can't think of a much better introduction since hours from now, roses and the rest of all the flowers in the world will start to fall because it's Valentine's Day.
After having lunch at school cafeteria a while ago, i decided to accompany my friend in our training hospital. she's going to submit her case study at pediatrics department. i decided to went to the treatment room to check my other schoolmates in making their plan of care to the patients where they were assigned. i looked at respiratory ward where i ws assigned two weeks ago before moving to surgery department. Actually, my duty that time is supposed to be at pediatric intensive care unit (PICU), but since i was tard, i was assigned at respiratory ward. ok, going back, my patient is not there anymore. i thought she is ok now. she was diagnosed of having PTB and Pneumonia at her early age. without my knowing, she is already tranferred at PICU, unconscious, with a Glassgow Coma Scale (GCS) of 6. seeing her, i feel like dying. eventhough i was able to have her as my client for only one day, still, the love and attention i gave to the patient seems not effective. Yes, it may not be my fault anymore why she was transferred, but considering the rapport established during day with her, it hurts seeing her condition that way. unconscious, unresponsive, coma, seizing. it hurts. and it hurts even more when the mother called me and say: "Ui eron, nalipat na kami dito sa ICU." putting myself at the shoes of the mother, i don't wanna see my child suffering that way.