Am I that skinny? I eat more than 3 times a day and more than I should. But then, why do i still look anorexic?
It's early Monday morning and I decided to eat alone in the kitchen. They are still sleeping that's why. While I was eating, I came to think of marriage. No, not marriage actually. i was actually thinking about what I know about Primary Complex when suddenly the thought of marriage arise.
I should marry someone completely healthy. No. Not only her.but also her family must have no trace of hereditary diseases.
It's a problem for me actually. I don't wanna think that way but if I really have concern about how MY CHILD will be raised and will be kept healthy, I should start thinking now about this concern. It will be hard on my part. I will have to look at her family health background first because i start trying to fall in love. In that case, it's a great percentage or shall I say that there will be a great probability that I will have to TRY LEARNING TO LOVE someone than falling in love first without taking down of those considerations. But I hope not too.
Why am I freaking this way? Well, I know it's not a trivia anymore that I am a sickly person. I myself has asthma and congenital heart disease. I also had a history of Primary Complex which we treated for 12 months and Pneumonia (Hospital-acquired) which I had just recently. My mother's side has a family history of respiratory diseases. My father on the other hand has high cholesterol level and a history of heart diseases. Now, if in case, I'll get to marry someone who has the same family condition as mine, it will be a big trouble then. In that case, I can conclude that I am just thinking of myself. Am I that selfish? Yeah, I guess if I will and not take of my incoming child in the future.
I try to be as spontaneous as possible but my life incidences is proving that I just can't. I am not stressed actually because I know things/incidences happen for such reason. May it be good or bad. If most will be bad, i know there's one reason. for me to learn and that will make a better person. I just have to be optimistic in this life situation.