Home"less"

Have you ever had the feeling that you only live in a house and not in a home?

House- a structure made of either wood, gravel and sand, cement, irons, or combinations in which people live; a residence for human beings that provides one of the basic physiologic need - protection from endeavors.

Home - a house lived by family filled with love and affection living with pleasant connotations and provides two of Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - Safety and security, and Love and Belongingness.

For almost a month now, I really feel homeless. Yes, I may have family but I don't really feel I belong. I apologize but I don't really mean to feel this way (who else does?). The habitation is calm and yet I simply find it hard to come across with tranquility. At the moment, I already have the idea of giving up everything. Maybe it's about time to give something little for myself. When I sacrificed my identity, I left nothing for myself except only the feeling of expectation that soon I will be loved. For almost 20 years, I just keep on expecting but still, my presence seems to be too little to be recognized. I'm sorry if because of me, all dreams failed. I deeply and sincerely apologize for the troubles I caused. I do not intend to have this situation happen. If only I can predict, maybe it's already me who did something when I was still in the womb to prevent further damage of your dreams. I can't chase myself now. I already forgot who I should be. My identity was misled by the so much life’s demands. I am contented and satisfied with the sacrifices I made. For sure I will keep on doing more. What I just want is at least even a little appreciation of my existence. Do I demand that much?